Best Of Me

[Atone]

(Verse)
Back in the zone, comin with that havoc
The underdog here to let em have it
Haters talk but they really got me laughin
i'm the big bad wolf they aint nuthin but some rabbits
i chew em up, spit em out, continue with my habits
walkin on this line, lookin for that magic
speakin on my life cuz times can be tragic
put that pain in my flow, emotions all over
aint been drunk in months, feels good to be sober
in full control, nobody gotta lead the way
no drugs in my system, i can live another day
but politics really got us all flippin out
they wanna take away our rights, are you finally gonna listen now?
get the youth involved, let the truth get out
put the games on pause, turn your tv off
everybody march before this battles a loss
wake up tomorrow and only hope for the best
pray for better days never knowin whats next
aint no point in life if your just waitin for death
live your life like you been blessed
walk tall, head high, and be true
don't change for nobody just be you
and i'm the type to rip a Jamacian's pipe out his hands
smoke em up like it's nothin, thats just who i am
so haters keep smashin me, but you don't know who you fuckin with man



Link Of Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=142746&p=1844248#p1844248

[J.R.]

Simple rhymes and hard to pickup flow. Change it up.

[iain08]

>talks about haters
>has no fans

[JamaicanPattlez]

>talks about haters
>has no fans

C'mon son!


Anyway, Atone, great flowing on this piece. Definitely an improvement on your stuff. One suggestion I'd propose is change this line:


but politics really got us all flippin out
they wanna take away our rights, are you finally gonna listen now?

to:


but politics really got us all flippin out
they wanna take away our rights, are you finna listen now?

Just my thoughts.

[Just Silver]

Seems like somethin id perfectly be able to flow to I like it a lot

Structure was pretty good too nice work

Id def like to see more

[Man1x]

It's weird man, you can write good structure but a lot of your audios don't have the flow. I don't understand lol

Anyways, rhyming wasn't anything too extravagant but you got the point across, combined with a steady flow (aside from the part that JP suggested to fix) so this is a pretty good effort

If I had to critique it, I'd suggest expanding your vocabulary a little bit. Not that BIGGEST flaw but definitely something you'd wanna pick up on in the future, it will make your pieces less redundant appearing and whatnot.

If the rest of us can flow it, you can too

Ps, if you're interested, you should join TR's battle league, should be fun and probably brings the best out of all the contestants.
viewtopic.php?f=26&t=142518

Yea, pretty much what I noticed. Vocabulary is very simple. Honestly I could guess what was coming next, good flow on the text though. It also has good structure bro Hit me back with some feed?
http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=142962&p=1847542#p1847542

[Drama Setter]

>talks about haters
>has no fans

way better than lil wayne imo,keep it up atone bro

[BigBoss]

>talks about haters
>has no fans

This.


At least lil wayne has (shitty) fans.

You cant say fuck haters when no ond is bumpin yo shit

[Atone]

>talks about haters
>has no fans

This.


At least lil wayne has (shitty) fans.

You cant say fuck haters when no ond is bumpin yo shit

No fans huh? i got ppl that have some of my songs as ringtones, but hey, i guess thats not havin fans huh

wait wait wait

does it count as fans when ppl come in the store i work at and tell me they want a copy of my tape cuz one of their friends showed them some of my songs?

or how about, when i got ppl in the U.K on twitter askin me when my next tape is comin?

does that count as fans? nobody bumps my shit? than explain the 5000+ plays on Soundclick this month alone

oh, but i got no fans, lol yall got no clue wtf your talkin about

i got ppl that PRAISE ME ON FB cuz i rap about real issues instead of Candy Paint and Hoes,

shut the fuck up with that nobody is bumpin me talk, u ppl are a bunch a fuckin idiots

[BigBoss]

>talks about haters
>has no fans

This.


At least lil wayne has (shitty) fans.

You cant say fuck haters when no ond is bumpin yo shit

No fans huh? i got ppl that have some of my songs as ringtones, but hey, i guess thats not havin fans huh

wait wait wait

does it count as fans when ppl come in the store i work at and tell me they want a copy of my tape cuz one of their friends showed them some of my songs?

or how about, when i got ppl in the U.K on twitter askin me when my next tape is comin?

does that count as fans? nobody bumps my shit? than explain the 5000+ plays on Soundclick this month alone

oh, but i got no fans, lol yall got no clue wtf your talkin about

i got ppl that PRAISE ME ON FB cuz i rap about real issues instead of Candy Paint and Hoes,

shut the fuck up with that nobody is bumpin me talk, u ppl are a bunch a fuckin idiots

Do you have proof people have their ringtones as your songs?
Do you have proof people come in and ask about your store?

Really expect me to believe a special kid? Its the internet son. Bring proof

My friend has around 7200 hundred views on that, and all he raps about is getting bitches. Whats your point?

[iain08]

No fans huh? i got ppl that have some of my songs as ringtones, but hey, i guess thats not havin fans huh

wait wait wait

does it count as fans when ppl come in the store i work at and tell me they want a copy of my tape cuz one of their friends showed them some of my songs?

or how about, when i got ppl in the U.K on twitter askin me when my next tape is comin?

does that count as fans? nobody bumps my shit? than explain the 5000+ plays on Soundclick this month alone

oh, but i got no fans, lol yall got no clue wtf your talkin about

i got ppl that PRAISE ME ON FB cuz i rap about real issues instead of Candy Paint and Hoes,

shut the fuck up with that nobody is bumpin me talk, u ppl are a bunch a fuckin idiots

must suck to be delusional

[Atone]

Lol, yall must have pitiful lives if you have to bash on somebody on a forum,

keep hatin tho, your opinion really means nothin to me so hey, if your dream is to hate on everything on a web forum, i aint gonna kill your dream lil man, do what u love, i'll keep makin music, it's no flake on my shoulder

[BigBoss]

Lol, yall must have pitiful lives if you have to bash on somebody on a forum,

keep hatin tho, your opinion really means nothin to me so hey, if your dream is to hate on everything on a web forum, i aint gonna kill your dream lil man, do what u love, i'll keep makin music, it's no flake on my shoulder

Clearly mad.

Seething because this is your bus:

[BigBoss]

Lol, yall must have pitiful lives if you have to bash on somebody on a forum,

keep hatin tho, your opinion really means nothin to me so hey, if your dream is to hate on everything on a web forum, i aint gonna kill your dream lil man, do what u love, i'll keep makin music, it's no flake on my shoulder

Clearly mad.

Seething because this is your bus:

You sit in back where no one can see you.

[Trimss]

>talks about haters
>has no fans

Instead of talking shit like that, feed his writing. Eminem talks about killing people, does that mean he does it? No.

That's just hating to hate. Next time you wanna look clever, do it in a better way.

>talks about haters
>has no fans

This.


At least lil wayne has (shitty) fans.

You cant say fuck haters when no ond is bumpin yo shit

Same here. You're always there to bash members here but you're still useless. Give a proper feed instead of doing that. You may not like Atone's audio, but this is not audio. This is a writing. And lol @talking to yourself and quoting you.