IV - Manîx

[Man1x]

IV - Manîx

[Intro]

-Unknown-

It's time to wake up Manîx…..

[Hook - Manîx]

Unrecognized from birth
No one knows my name
I came too late in this game
It hurts like a burring flame
So, I set my foot upon earth
And I run in chase of fame

[Verse 1 - Manîx]

I was reborn from these ashes as your swords miss my patches
Still feel sore from these rashes, look past my mortal eye's passion
Look into my soul, court still will bypass looks from through the cold
Crooks abuse control while poor children are shook, misused at home
More guilt comes rummaging my chest like flames consuming my flesh
Hate's hung from my likeness, as I break rungs of rhyme's flightless stairs
Hummin' my last intake, they'll be summed to dying vibrations
No ovation, no celebration, just this time glass like fate
Now I sit and contemplate If only I hadn't arrived late…..

[Hook - Manîx]

Unrecognized from birth
No one knows my name
I came too late in this game
It hurts like a burring flame
So, I set my foot upon earth
And I run in chase of fame

[Outro]

-Unknown-

He still needs time, give him the pill.

-Unknown-

Yes sir.


Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=142806&p=1847541#p1847541

[Man1x]

Bump

[Man1x]

Agree with Menzo, but one thing I don't like is the hook. Why isn't it complete? You can argue it's only 3 lines if you write it like this:

Unrecognized from birth, no one knows my name
I came too late in this game, it hurts like a burring flame
So, I set my foot upon earth and I run in chase of fame.

And I know that's how you're delivering it because of the rhymes. So...why not just finish the hook? If it were to a beat it wouldn't fit.

The hook was a filler, not sure what I want with it yet so I jotted one real quick but ya I understand where your coming from. Thanks for the feed guys

@Menzo, leaving the audience hanging was my intention

Edit: Oh and Menzo, this will tie into a story just so you know, it's not over. I'm just contemplating on how I want this to all end up being executed.

[Mr.DGAF]

Yeah man, this is solid. The rhyming is great, don't really like the hook though. Honestly, if you knew it was filler, shoulda just dropped that ish and worked on the hook later. But the verse is hotness, I'd like to see how this plays out. It really left me hanging man, I'm eager to see which way you take this.

[SG.]

This was a great piece, my man. The skits remind me of the Dr. West skit a bit. That verse was hot.

As for the hook, yeah, it was underwhelming, but even repetitiveness can revive it. Sy, for example, on one of my tracks, "I just wanna be famous" was repeated SIX times in the hook, and everyone loved it. I'm just saying it doesn't have to be "da supa complecs multi hookz".

[Man1x]

@Geno, I care. I understand where your coming from. And your right I'm not confident in my work that's why I've been in gridlock on writing my verses. I mean I have over hundred topics on a list (not kidding) but haven't started on any yet except this one. I really just felt the need to push it out to see where I stood and the hook wasn't really on my mind. But I understand what your saying and I'll rewrite it tonight. I hope that didn't come angry cause I'm not, just explaining.

[Slim Fiasco]

Not bad man, I liked the rhyming a lot. Now I can't give you an advice since I don't really write on English but I have this extensive post with tips on flowing and stuff, so if you need some insight regarding the audio part, here you go - viewtopic.php?f=29&t=142636