Sorry To You

[CrashBand]

Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=137127&start=15
Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UroRbzZCi6M

These feelings feel so real I can squeeze it in my palm
So how, if love is blind, could I see that I was wrong?
Why'd I leave it till this long now for me you could be gone
So my last dying effort is to reach you in this song
Please, please..... try and understand this
I never meant to leave you feeling like you were abandoned
The times I couldn't handle, should've made it more clear
For some reason inside I can't display that I care
I never meant to hurt you looking weakened and broken
So why'd I have to burn you in the heat of the moment
A beautifully kept secret, now this beast has awoken
But the best thing for you's for me to leave you alone and
Stop doing what I always seem to fucking do the best
Shooting cupids arrow and hit you threw the chest
I was aiming for love but it landed off the track
Cos it musta missed your heart and it stabbed you in the back

Chorus
So all I’m left to do is to say I’m sorry to you
Sorry that I couldn't find a way to worry for you
Sorry I was acting distant when it seemed that we were close
Sorry I was never sorry when you needed it the most x2

Please don't ever think that I forgot the good times
When I was going through shit and you always stood by
And I always would try and it always looked like
Things were going just perfect, then all the good died
I don’t know what happened but I wonder if maybe,
It’s fucking so crazy to think "'was it the baby?"
Our hearts grew apart, like something was changing
You couldn’t decide if you love me or hate me
How fucked up can fate be? now your lonely and depressed
I was sixteen... so I only did my best
That’s no excuse, 'cos I know you were too
And it musta been harder cos it was growing in you
So I’m hoping that you can realise I do care
And I always think about it, its like a nightmare
I’m sorry... and I miss how we used to be
You’re the only one I can talk to about this truthfully

Chorus
So all I’m left to do is to say I’m sorry to you
Sorry that I couldn't find a way to worry for you
Sorry I was acting distant when it seemed that we were close
Sorry I was never sorry when you needed it the most x2

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Really good man. Its definitely deep and I can tell it has a lot of meaning. The only thing I could criticize is that in the 7th and 8th line clear and care dont rhyme very well but I can see how you could make it rhyme. overall really good piece man!

[overgrown]

i liked it. multi's and fluid thought. that aint easy. big difference between prefab mutiples. working them into a story like drop is impressive. plus the inners. the story its self i could relate to. i thought the metas came off natural and it read clear. like paragraphs rhymed not sentences stacked if that makes sense. id say i liked the first four lines of each verse best. worth the read

[CrashBand]

Bump..

[RainMan44]

Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=137127&start=15
Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UroRbzZCi6M

Okay, thought I would drop more than just a 16.

This is a track aimed a a person who I was pretty shit to at a point in my life. Should be a good change from my previous 'lighter, jokier' tracks.

Feedback wanted please

These feelings feel so real I can squeeze it in my palm
So how, if love is blind, could I see that I was wrong?
Why'd I leave it till this long now for me you could be gone
So my last dying effort is to reach you in this song
Please, please..... try and understand this
I never meant to leave you feeling like you were abandoned
The times I couldn't handle, shoulda made it more clear
For some reason inside I can't display that I care
I never meant to hurt you looking weakened and broken
A beautifully kept secret, now this beast has awoken
My feelings.… it's like I can't speak so I wrote it
But the best thing for you's for me to leave you alone and
Stop doing what I always seem to fucking do the best
Shooting cupids arrow and hit you threw the chest
I was aiming for love but it landed off the track
Cos it musta missed your heart and it stabbed you in the back

Chorus
So all I’m left to do is to say I’m sorry to you
Sorry that I couldn't find a way to worry for you
Sorry I was acting distant when it seemed that we were close
Sorry I was never sorry when you needed it the most x2

Please don't ever think that I forgot the good times
When I would go through shit and you always stood by
And I always would try and it always look liked
Things were going just perfect, then all the good died
I don’t know what happened but I wonder if maybe,
It’s fucking so crazy, but was it the baby
Our hearts grew apart like something was changing
You couldn’t decide if you love me or hate me
how fucked up can fate be? now your lonely and depressed
I wasn't ready at sixteen so I only did my best
I know that’s no excuse cos I know you weren't to
And it musta been harder cos it was growing in you
So I’m hoping that you can realise that I care
And I always think about it, its like a nightmare
I’m sorry... and I miss how we used to be
You’re the only one I can say about that truthfully

Chorus
So all I’m left to do is to say I’m sorry to you
Sorry that I couldn't find a way to worry for you
Sorry I was acting distant when it seemed that we were close
Sorry I was never sorry when you needed it the most x2

I liked this a lot. I actually enjoyed reading it and was left wanting more. That's always a good sign.

The writing just got me into it. You have tons multies in here, but I think even in the lines where you don't use multies, it was still good writing. That is very rare, 'cause for some people, once they go away from multies, there's nothing else impressive in their lines/verses. But you doing that just exhibits good writing.

The beat was nice, and the piece when I rapped it, flowed nicely. My only complaint is that a couple of times some lines were a bitch short.

I liked this piece a lot, dude. Going to lookout for your next drop. Keep at it homie



Return the favor, please? I'd appreciate it.

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=143797

[J.R.]

Nice flow and fluid multis. Please drop more, this was really amazing. I'll be lookin for you.

[Words]

Great job on this piece. Really liked how well it fit with the beat. I was able to see the flow on my first read-through with the beat. Honestly I don't have criticism for this, it was very well done. Lyrically, it rhymed, and rhythmically, it flowed.

Btw: Great message, reminded me a lot of a similar situation in my life. It's always more powerful when there's shit someone can relate to.

[Mr.DGAF]

This is really good dude. The story is told pretty much perfectly, it's simple to follow and you executed quite well. The flow is nice, really easy to pick up on the first read. The lines flow together smoothly, it didn't feel like you ever sacrificed the story for the rhyme. For the rhyming, I thought it was decent. Definitely got the grasp on multies, its just kinda keep writing and they'll improve. Which isn't to say they're bad on this, just that there's room for improvement.

This is a good track man, if you ever wanna collab hit me up. I've got a couple verses to take care of at the moment, but if you wanna do something, send me a pm and we'll get it cracking.

[abrarssdd]

Awesome!! It’s just what I need!! Thanks!............