Picture My Words (Track 3)

[Mr.DGAF]

I just started aimlessly writing last night and this is the result, and it's honestly the thing I'm most proud of as a writer. I think this may be my best work. But I dunno, it may suck haha, anyways, here it goes. Added to 'Group Of Writtens'


Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7RZ_f3d_nE
Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=145386

The pen is as mighty as the person that beholds it
When I've chosen to be focused it's a given I'll spit dopeness
As I close in on a target they regard me to keep waiting
But I'm far from being patient cause our lives are what we make it
So I'm taking what I've earned and looking forward with my life
Cause retrospect is twenty twenty but it's boring to be right
I'm not worried if I might screw up, mistakes are bound to happen
Like the way I found I'd rap until the day I'm crowned the captain
And it's crazy how I fathomed of the time when I was balling
All the times that I was bawling, sitting crying, almost lost it
Picture life and try to pause it, set it up and rearrange it
To a portrait I've created, but this isn't how I'd paint it
Colors blend with different races, black is white and so is Asian
From the Nile or Jamaica, we're all trying to be famous
In my eyes I know I'm great but still a failure in a few
I know I've changed, but so have you, it's just a phase that we went through
Back when the days would blend into another memory we had
When we would kill to have a pad so we could chill and have a laugh
Without the feeling that it's bad to want to do this stuff forever
Now I wonder if we ever changed or grew up from this level
Of appreciating music, differentiating tunes with ears of magic
Special tools that I would use to hear my passion
Without fear that it would pass me cause my rhymes are kinda timeless
It's alright to try and fight it but my lines are like the Mayans
They ignite and quiet millions as the world aborts its axis
Then my words work as a portal to export you into blackness
Where the lines of every song I've ever written brings the light
So it's impossible for you to miss the only thing in sight
Then maybe I would get respect like I deserve it when I write
I interwine my line so perfect, it's absurd to think that I
Could ever be the one that's slept on, well it's time to wake you up
It's amazing those who suck are getting plays while greatness slumps
But it's okay, I'll make it up with every piece I drop that gets
Zero looks and feed, well look it seems as if I've got to spit
And if I had a mic, I'd gladly write a song that you would love
But being broke and seen as hopeless makes it hard to want to trudge
On with this writing, I see why people can struggle to maintain
I never had it rough and always had enough to make pay
So with this piece I hope that I can increase all my cash flow
And if this makes me famous, let it be known that my path's mowed
For any other writer who can follow in my shadow
Cause I was just a stepping stone for people who don't have homes
And my past shows the ways I've started to where I am at so
With that known, I'll let my words show you where my raps go

[Mr.DGAF]

Thanks man, appreciate the kind words haha. Yeah, sometimes I look back at things we've dropped up to five months ago and look at more recent pieces and the growth is definitely noticeable.

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Damn man! another great drop. I liked this a lot, I'm amazed how you can flow so well and keep the rhyming on point for that long. I have nothing to say that would actually help you out lol, just a very great piece dude! keep it up!

[SG.]

This is great. Excellent flow. From the opening line, this piece captured my eyes. I agree with Geno's comments, it nice to see pretty much every writer here has improved.

[Mr.DGAF]

Thanks guys, appreciate the kind words.

[Mr.DGAF]

Thanks man, it's definitely cool to see the growth we've all gone through over the months. It's like, I thought everything I wrote back then was as perfect as it could get, and now I look back and at some points I'm like "really?" hahaha.

[CrashBand]

I really enjoyed it. Picked up the flow effortlessly on the first try. I'd be down for a collab of you have an idea.

The only problems I had were:
-"Special tools that I would use to hear my passion"
I found this line was too short and it's where I stumbled.
Like it needed "Special tools that I would use 'da da da do' to hear my passion"

"struggle to maintain
(e)nough to make pay"
syllables didn't quite line up.

Other than that (your flow especially) really impressed. The whole piece was very consistent.
"So I'm taking what I've earned and looking forward with my life
Cause retrospect is twenty twenty but it's boring to be right"
This was dope, a great flip on '20/20 hindsight'

"In my eyes I know I'm great but still a failure in a few
I know I've changed, but so have you,"
enjoyed this line as well.

I found it was quite poetically written, which was nice. Props on the piece man.

[Mr.DGAF]

The only problems I had were:
-"Special tools that I would use to hear my passion"
I found this line was too short and it's where I stumbled.
Like it needed "Special tools that I would use 'da da da do' to hear my passion"

If you read it with the beat and didn't stumble until that point, it should work perfectly. It's because of the previous line, it has "differentiating tunes" in it and it causes it to go a little past the snare so the next line has to be shorter.

Haha, yeah, it looks really weird but I think it fits the beat. But it may not haha, it's all good. And with the syllable count on that one line, I noticed it was off a bit but I decided to stick with it anyways haha. Thanks for pointing it out though, that was the one line I kinda was iffy about.

And yeah Crash, I'm definitely down for a collab here in the near future. I've got one on tap now but once I get finished up with that I'll hit ya up and maybe we can figure something out.

[CrashBand]

The only problems I had were:
-"Special tools that I would use to hear my passion"
I found this line was too short and it's where I stumbled.
Like it needed "Special tools that I would use 'da da da do' to hear my passion"

If you read it with the beat and didn't stumble until that point, it should work perfectly. It's because of the previous line, it has "differentiating tunes" in it and it causes it to go a little past the snare so the next line has to be shorter.

Yeah got it now. Flows fine. I was rushing 'diff-ren-chate-in' to squeeze that line in. Which resulted in the next line being to short lol.

And with the syllable count on that one line, I noticed it was off a bit but I decided to stick with it anyways haha. Thanks for pointing it out though, that was the one line I kinda was iffy about.

And yeah Crash, I'm definitely down for a collab here in the near future. I've got one on tap now but once I get finished up with that I'll hit ya up and maybe we can figure something out.

Sweet man, just whenever. inb4 I forget though.

[ashley94]

Damn, i can't write that in a year, it looks really good.

[Mr.DGAF]

Haha thanks dude.

[Eedee]

Everyone else pretty much summed up what this piece is. Beauty.

My favorite part:

Of appreciating music, differentiating tunes with ears of magic
Special tools that I would use to hear my passion

I don't know, something about "ears of magic / hear my passion" was a great rhyme. Made me all fuzzy inside haha.

Good shit, nice drop!

[Mr.DGAF]

Haha thanks homie!

[Eedee]

Oh shit. Just read this again and my commented rhyme was even bigger.

"... tunes with ears of magic / use to hear my passion... " Damn.

[Mr.DGAF]

Thanks man! I was actually wondering when I posted it if I would get any TL;DR's haha.

When Menzo finishes up with that Passin' Me By shit, I'll get that up. I've been really uninspired recently, trying to do that other track we were doing, I'll try to get on with that...still gotta do shit for Geno and ShAdYTiLIDie too...Sorry for all the holdups and shit, I haven't written in a while...hopefully I don't have another writer's block.

Cool man, hopefully you don't run into writer's block. That can be a bitch. And it's cool, take ya time breh, I'm always down for the collab when you've got the time.