Geno ft. Wreck - Everywhere I Go

[Eedee]

It would be so much better if you guys put time stamps on the verses/choruses/intros/etc. Just in case something comes up, you can come back and know where you left off (the reader that is). It helps.

Anyway, Wreck. I wasn't feeling the flow on your piece. Your structure was really weird, especially the first few bars as well as some in the middle; they felt a bit too long. The rhyming however, was good. Multis were not bad. One thing I really didn't like was the following:

I picture God as the opposite, "oh shit, did I just witness an apocolypse?"
Bombs & fire starts dropping quick, I got my semi, but I aint cocking shit

What does a semi have to do with cocking shit? Or with anything in the context of these lines? It seemed like you couldn't think of something to rhyme with "did I just" so you said fuck it and wrote "semi, but". Other than that, your verse was good. Rhyming was good, as I said.

Geno, your structure was better than Wreck's. Easier to flow too and get a rhythm. I liked your rhyme schemes, it made everything smoother. It felt more natural. Here's something I didn't particularly understand, maybe you can explain...

Rocks and battered with boulders.. poundin' down on my noggin',
Sounds of them talkin' echo forever.. hauntin' my mind,
It feels like I can't pedal but yet I'm drawn to the bike,
I'm a walkin' anonymous sight, so slender and ominous like,

The line with the pedal and the bike seemed out of place. It was like a total non-sequitur with the previous and following lines, as if you just wanted to keep the rhyme scheme going. Plus you're drawn to the bike yet you're a walking anonymous sight? If you're drawn to the bike, wouldn't you be riding it instead of walking?

Other than that, I liked the concept of heaven/hell as fame and fortune and whatnot. Rhyming was great. I liked Geno's part more than Wreck's, but that doesn't mean Wreck's was bad. They both were good.

edit: Fuck you DGAF, you made me hit "submit" twice.

[Wreck]

Good rhymes folks.

Wreck, the structuring confuses me on the first 4 lines or so man. It seems like those could just as easily be shortened into just 2 lines. It doesn't effect the flow or anything, just... weird to look at. But the rhyming was really nice. I wasn't feeling the yellow puss line, seemed like filler. I got what you were doing with the line, but I think that sounds too unproffesional. The gas/break line was nice, but I also feel that it could have been worded better. Other than that, good verse.

Geno, rhymes were nice, as always. I really liked the way they were placed in this, the sole purpose rhyme in particular. Most lines were nice, I don't really have any complaints.

The first two lines work, the flow of things is shortened, but the point of that was to build up the verse.

& w/ the puss line, yeah I was trying to give a nasty image in one's head about going to hell.

& thanks for the feed man, appreciate it .

It would be so much better if you guys put time stamps on the verses/choruses/intros/etc. Just in case something comes up, you can come back and know where you left off (the reader that is). It helps.

Anyway, Wreck. I wasn't feeling the flow on your piece. Your structure was really weird, especially the first few bars as well as some in the middle; they felt a bit too long. The rhyming however, was good. Multis were not bad. One thing I really didn't like was the following:

I picture God as the opposite, "oh shit, did I just witness an apocolypse?"
Bombs & fire starts dropping quick, I got my semi, but I aint cocking shit

What does a semi have to do with cocking shit? Or with anything in the context of these lines? It seemed like you couldn't think of something to rhyme with "did I just" so you said fuck it and wrote "semi, but". Other than that, your verse was good. Rhyming was good, as I said.

Geno, your structure was better than Wreck's. Easier to flow too and get a rhythm. I liked your rhyme schemes, it made everything smoother. It felt more natural. Here's something I didn't particularly understand, maybe you can explain...

Rocks and battered with boulders.. poundin' down on my noggin',
Sounds of them talkin' echo forever.. hauntin' my mind,
It feels like I can't pedal but yet I'm drawn to the bike,
I'm a walkin' anonymous sight, so slender and ominous like,

The line with the pedal and the bike seemed out of place. It was like a total non-sequitur with the previous and following lines, as if you just wanted to keep the rhyme scheme going. Plus you're drawn to the bike yet you're a walking anonymous sight? If you're drawn to the bike, wouldn't you be riding it instead of walking?

Other than that, I liked the concept of heaven/hell as fame and fortune and whatnot. Rhyming was great. I liked Geno's part more than Wreck's, but that doesn't mean Wreck's was bad. They both were good.

edit: Fuck you DGAF, you made me hit "submit" twice.

That's a good idea about the time stamps, I'll try that next time, good looks .

& with the flow, the lines are long, but that's why the beat is there, cause it flows well w/ that, just to clarify. The beat, not only makes for great storytelling to add to the collab, but helps things flow in your head better when you're reading a verse.

& a semi-automatic gun, you cock it, then shoot it. So that line there, I said I have the gun (the semi) on me, but I'm not cocking shit, because (referring to the next line) I'd rather fight him mano a mano (1 on 1) instead, so that explains that. & that line is definitely relevant w/ the rest of the piece, it's like a storybook almost, at least that's how I tried to structure it, & how it came out to me, because I'm having my doubts about him, then he tears me apart, I try to fight him one on one, & then I come to my senses lastly.

Thanks for the feed though man, I'll work on little things like that to make it even better next time . Appreciate it.

[Eedee]

@ Wreck Holy fuck, it never occurred to be that "semi" was the gun. I was thinking of the big ass rigs those fat ass McDonald's loving fucks drive... Lmfao.

@ Geno Yeah dude. Makes sense. Good shit.

[Wreck]

@ Wreck Holy fuck, it never occurred to be that "semi" was the gun. I was thinking of the big ass rigs those fat ass McDonald's loving fucks drive... Lmfao.

Lmfao . I just had McDonalds today too, that's funny.

[Eedee]

@ Wreck Holy fuck, it never occurred to be that "semi" was the gun. I was thinking of the big ass rigs those fat ass McDonald's loving fucks drive... Lmfao.

Lmfao . I just had McDonalds today too, that's funny.

I'm sorry if I offended you, good sir.





















I'm not really. Roflcopter to maximum altitude. Roflroflrofl

[Wreck]

@ Wreck Holy fuck, it never occurred to be that "semi" was the gun. I was thinking of the big ass rigs those fat ass McDonald's loving fucks drive... Lmfao.

Lmfao . I just had McDonalds today too, that's funny.

I'm sorry if I offended you, good sir.





















I'm not really. Roflcopter to maximum altitude. Roflroflrofl

lol I'm not offended, just saying.

[Sam.]

People complaining about Wrecks structure should now, that, he did it for the flow. He starts of slow, spitting fewer syllables and then paces his flow. I'm just guessing, I flowed it with "Should Have Known - Atmosphere" and it flowed perfectly. So. it's obvious his structure would be like that.

[Wreck]

People complaining about Wrecks structure should now, that, he did it for the flow. He starts of slow, spitting fewer syllables and then paces his flow. I'm just guessing, I flowed it with "Should Have Known - Atmosphere" and it flowed perfectly. So. it's obvious his structure would be like that.

Exactly, that's the way I intended for it to be structured too, thanks for helping clarify that .

[Sam.]

People complaining about Wrecks structure should now, that, he did it for the flow. He starts of slow, spitting fewer syllables and then paces his flow. I'm just guessing, I flowed it with "Should Have Known - Atmosphere" and it flowed perfectly. So. it's obvious his structure would be like that.

Exactly, that's the way I intended for it to be structured too, thanks for helping clarify that .

Yeah, I'm awesome.
Nah, I caught that the minute I started feeding it. Even I was gonna bitch about it, then this song struck me, the I was like: Wait a minute, let me flow like this, and it worked.

[Wreck]

People complaining about Wrecks structure should now, that, he did it for the flow. He starts of slow, spitting fewer syllables and then paces his flow. I'm just guessing, I flowed it with "Should Have Known - Atmosphere" and it flowed perfectly. So. it's obvious his structure would be like that.

Exactly, that's the way I intended for it to be structured too, thanks for helping clarify that .

Yeah, I'm awesome.
Nah, I caught that the minute I started feeding it. Even I was gonna bitch about it, then this song struck me, the I was like: Wait a minute, let me flow like this, and it worked.

lol if you wanna say that, sure.

& yeah exactly. That's the biggest thing, or at least one of them, that people don't realize, or play around with when they read a songs lyrics, you gotta play around with different flows, & see how I orchestrated it to the beat. The beat makes it easier to comprehend it, but like you noted, & I said before, I started the flow off slow, & built it up .

[Wreck]

Bump for more feed.

Word, this is slept on, like tempurpedic beds.

[Mr.DGAF]

3 pages of pure sleeping...

[Wreck]

3 pages of pure sleeping...

[Eedee]

3 pages of pure sleeping...

Yup, no kidding. You got 5 feeds. That's about twice as many as the average drop in CW gets.

Maybe if you feed others, others will feed you.

[Wreck]

3 pages of pure sleeping...

Yup, no kidding. You got 5 feeds. That's about twice as many as the average drop in CW gets.

Maybe if you feed others, others will feed you.

I do all the time? & yeah I know, I wasn't really trying to be cocky there, just joking around, & yeah, this section's fuckin dead. We need more writers on this forum. Too many good ones atm getting little feed, but in this case, 5 feeds is pretty good.