verse 1 of a song i wrote called active

[righfield]

dont stop me in my tracks just let this engine run/im gonna keep moving like a wind blown pendulum/opening newly formed doors then i go and enter them/if theres a gateway out an empty grave im gonna take it/take in my hands my destiny i gotta reshape it/the reason why half of peoples lifes often end cruel/is cos they mostly just run oxygen fuel/they live to breath but they dont live to live/at times people call me a rigid stiff/they say i need to stop working and relax wity a spliff/your just not living life you need a lift/but if i want my dream to be i got to keep busy/os ambitions happening dont come easy i will never quit and turn/cant be stung by stun cant leave my dreams undone/i need to do all the grabbing and all the attacking all the stinging and all the bringing/i got to put everything in even more then a hundred persent/even if along the way the'll be a few blundered attempts/cos living the dream is the way to live/and if i achieve it off my shoulders a weight will unlift

[righfield]

also check out ray k-47 hes a new comer hopping to hear some of his stuff soon

[righfield]

viewtopic.php?f=71&t=150653

[ray k-47]

Dis is ill.. I wanna here the rest..

[righfield]

ok man ill upload the second verse

[ray k-47]

^^ Cool

[righfield]

going through and over the same rhymes agen and agen/burning off everyday angst but gaining adrenaline/i got a new rhyme guess ill give my pen a spin/im keeping my demons in check im the designated driver/im topping my best and getting places higher/theres more failed dreams then there are success sories/but i wont give up untill i get the best glorys/i got 2 be 1 above everybody else got to be above average/and be 1 step ahead cos im a man not a bitch/i got to move quickly and swiftly got to be like a treadmill quick/if i ever have a chance of getting my dreams and to get all this/i got to be winning just like a gold medalist/ways to be a winner is what i got my head full with/and if i want to put myself out there i gotta be as clear as the sea/assert my personality and name- the sawb/and get through that window that window of opportunity/ive got more energy then static and im keeping my brain cells active/i kept practising it started out with basic training/and its benefited cos from now its aces im taking

[righfield]

thatd verse 2

[ray k-47]

I like it.. are you going to record this song.

[righfield]

well thanks and at some point i hope but it wont be for a while because i got no money to buy recording equipment as im currently unemployed and i want to develop my voice and get good enough for myself before i start recording anything

[righfield]

nah didnt write to a beat and both verses have two flows to them the first five lines have a 1st flow then the rest of the lines have a different flow because the beat in my head changes a little bit on the sixth line hope that makes sense... it was the best way i could sum it up lol and thanks for the feedback

[Sam.]

^ Lol!

Even Geno let it pass? Spyder be sleepin as usual.

[righfield]

@ trex and geno yh i would of wrote it out better but im typing from ps3 so it makes it difficult so i could only write it in slashes