Summer Madness

[Wreck]

Link of Feed- viewtopic.php?f=24&t=150575
Beat- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxG3BKsL2gs

(Intro)

Fuck all this bullshit
Fuck the past, fuck the present
Murphy's law is a bitch
But fuck it, gotta stay strong
& prove wrong, progress, & proceed
& move on

(Verse 1- at 31 seconds mark)

Shit, it first hit me like a gun after a suicide note
Both you-and-I-know, that was bogus, your "suicide note"
This was back, middle of August, as we're coming back off of vacation
I feel frustration, instead I just should feel elation
Cause it all became clear, like a TV hit on for the picture
Cause for 4 months, prior to this shit, you were a fixture
So in the span of a week, shit hit the fan for me
and my family friend wasn't really acting like family to me
Wrote a bogus suicide note, had me worried & confused
Thinking that I would see your mutilated corpse story stirring in the news
Thinking that I would never ever get to text you late nights again
So as I tell this story, I feel no stage fright, my friend
Then you kicked down the door, this was after you stole $700 from my Dad
So if I have no more to lose in life, I'm wondering exactly what I had?
Heard you was in a mental hospital, trying to get clean from booze
I had trust in you, unlike Dad, but that's just between me & you
Distraught, caught up in the bad moments that never seem to pass by
I'm religious, but if I had a 1-on-1 with God, I would have to ask why
Why did God decide to rock my boat? Wondering why the life of Aaliyah's was tossed?
While you're trying to get sober, we're steady picking up the pieces lost
Pain follows me everywhere that I go, follow it past the dirt path road
This game of life is a tough pill to swallow, is all that I know, it leaves me mind blown
Went from a tough child birth, to changing schools, to being hopped on depression meds
To 2 parents' divorces, to bipolar Dad, to all this shit, God, sometimes I question his methods
Life starts from being raised, for religious reasons, like a platform pulpit
To dealing with bills, taxes, & trying to act normal amongst the bullshit
To being crazed, without a friend in need for days
& all you had left was a liquor bottle, pills, or just some weed to blaze


(Chorus- at 2:01 mark)

Life as we know it is gone, but not forgotten
So let's demonstrate, & educate, before brains become rotten
So I'm knee deep, with a week's sheet of weed
Looking for some peace, so that I can finally breathe with some ease
So I'm knee deep, with a week's sheet of weed
Looking for some peace, so that I can finally breathe with some ease



(Verse 2- at the 2:20 mark)

Talking about rocking boats, I feel like a lost boy, like I'm Keifer
Though she can be unpleasant- my mom, why would he deploy & leave her?
First verse was about Dave, now this one is for the seizures
Talking about family shit & life, I need a gun or some reefer
Going back to the Mom line, most look at me like I'm fine
But she's about to be divorced again, & of course, chills running down my spine
Not to mention my migraines, constant pain, & the depression
Over aggression, money lost, & I'm not even talking about the recession
So to everyone out there, if I always seem distant
Maybe it's cause you never look at me & listen
So walk in my shoes, before you talk about the miles traveled
I'm not only pissed, but you could look at me & guess that Kyle's baffled
Summer & fall full of promises, instead I get let down
I'm done, bumping Incubus, watching the stars shine, rewind, in bed now

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Cool piece, definitely an emotional side, the rhyming was on and off you had some good multis but some that didn't work do well, flow was good from what I can tell, i think that even on really deep emotional pieces we all as writers should go over it after we let out feelings on the page and then make the majority of the rhymes piece together, just y opinion it's pretty hard to do( I can't) but something to work toward, nice piece

[Wreck]

Cool piece, definitely an emotional side, the rhyming was on and off you had some good multis but some that didn't work do well, flow was good from what I can tell, i think that even on really deep emotional pieces we all as writers should go over it after we let out feelings on the page and then make the majority of the rhymes piece together, just y opinion it's pretty hard to do( I can't) but something to work toward, nice piece

I tried my best to not only let the emotions pour out in the lyrics, but keep the multis in tact throughout the piece, but I will definitely keep that in mind. Thank you very much for reading this, & for your feedback, appreciate it .

[Mr.DGAF]

This was pretty good. The verses felt really real, and that's pretty impressive. The multies were on and off like shady said, but I think for the most part they were on. There were a few that felt really nice with how they were placed, which definitely helped the flow. It seems like your best stuff is coming from emotional pieces, which can definitely be tough to write.

[Wreck]

This was pretty good. The verses felt really real, and that's pretty impressive. The multies were on and off like shady said, but I think for the most part they were on. There were a few that felt really nice with how they were placed, which definitely helped the flow. It seems like your best stuff is coming from emotional pieces, which can definitely be tough to write.

That's how I feel, regarding the latter. I definitely love the emotional pieces too. Thanks for the feed man, appreciate it.