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Geno - Just A Game

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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby CanadaPure » May 19th, '13, 05:42

I really enjoyed it, you did a good job on it and it really seemed to be a lot different from your normal writing for whatever reason. Really quality.
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby Eedee » May 19th, '13, 09:18

Dat whole song rhyme scheme.
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby Just Silver » May 19th, '13, 11:51

Pretty damn good sounded really natural word selection was nice and flow was good
Only part that was somewhat weird was how the third verse talks about your writing while the other two is more about gfs and friends

But overall makes me wanna write and that means something lol good shit guy :y:
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby Eedee » May 19th, '13, 12:28

Just Silver wrote:Pretty damn good sounded really natural word selection was nice and flow was good
Only part that was somewhat weird was how the third verse talks about your writing while the other two is more about gfs and friends

But overall makes me wanna write and that means something lol good shit guy :y:


Well that's part of the concept.

GFs.
Friends.
Writing.
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby metsfan1121 » May 19th, '13, 14:29

Wow. Not much to critique. Definitely the best piece I've read since I've came on here.
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby J.R. » May 19th, '13, 16:11

I liked the rhyme scheme and the flow, and I agree with Menzo- Definitely reminded me of "You are my enemy" when you said "BME" to "RAW" I even thought that song was inspiration but I guess not.

Not much too critique, it was a really well structured, easy-flowing, nice-rhyming work. Well done.
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby Snakebeast » May 19th, '13, 20:46

Oh my god. What the fuck. HOW DID YOU KEEP THE SAME RHYME SCHEME THE ENTIRE SONG? That shit is fucking beast. I have problems keeping the same rhyme scheme within a friggin verse. The multis are creative and hype as shit. Don't seem forced at all.

The one problem I have with this song is the abrupt subject matter change with the last verse. It is a fantastic verse, yeah, but it just doesn't fit in imo. Maybe instead of a verse addressing your audience and society, a verse about family member betrayal (if you have experienced such a thing, since, to me, such a thing is the worst betrayal ever) or maybe a verse about how to deal with betrayal and traitors.
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby Snakebeast » May 19th, '13, 21:01

Geno wrote:
Snake897 wrote:Oh my god. What the fuck. HOW DID YOU KEEP THE SAME RHYME SCHEME THE ENTIRE SONG? That shit is fucking beast. I have problems keeping the same rhyme scheme within a friggin verse. The multis are creative and hype as shit. Don't seem forced at all.

The one problem I have with this song is the abrupt subject matter change with the last verse. It is a fantastic verse, yeah, but it just doesn't fit in imo. Maybe instead of a verse addressing your audience and society, a verse about family member betrayal (if you have experienced such a thing, since, to me, such a thing is the worst betrayal ever) or maybe a verse about how to deal with betrayal and traitors.

I just explained in the last post that it's more about people in general and I'd much rather talk about what I did than making up a story that didn't happen lol.

I appreciate the feed though man. :smoking:


Sorry dude, didn't see it :sweating:

In any case, it's fantastic. You are awesome ._.
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby Snakebeast » May 19th, '13, 21:43

No probs. Yeah I have actually, its my first freestyle (that I posted)
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=159463
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby Francesco » May 20th, '13, 23:43

Menzo wrote:This was nice man, the rhyme scheme was so hot.


This... I liked that one better Geno!
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby Devil'sAdvocate » May 24th, '13, 15:03

I can so relate to this,amazing stuff man.
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Re: Geno - Just A Game

Postby Sam. » May 24th, '13, 22:22

The Rhyme Scheme stands out in your work so magnificently. After reading few of your opening bars, the next thing I did is to check out the Rhymes of the future lines. That's wonderful in a way and I myself am a fan of this shit. I'm surprised Menzo didn't mention "If I Had" as a comparison factor. I may be exaggerating it, but yeah, this somewhat did remind me of that song. Maybe the content, who knows?

Longer bars at places kinda irked me at first, but that's okay with the beat.

I don't what you're up to or what you think, but I'm a big fan of carrying the rhyme for a longer part of the verse. And, if you have time do check out this: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=107550

My 1st drop where I dared and attempted carrying the same Rhyme Scheme throughout.
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