memories

[Dewey Decimal]

beat http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DhMqUY4_-4Q

Verse 1 (under construction)
Haunted by the memories that will never be
There aint a susan no more but theres a stephanie
So much bullshit in the hood, where do i start?
Drugs bring people together but they also tear them apart
And i been high so long i think my sleeps affected
Its almost suppertime and im eating breakfast
We rarely had food so we were always hungry
And the weed only made it worse because of the munchies
My dad beat her up when she was pregnant with.the baby
So i was abused for 19 years and i was only 18
i was born in canada where it heavily snows
But theres a raincloud that follows me wherever i go
Im emo, but thats the only truth that i would tell
If this knife is for protection, then why do i use it on myself?


Chorus


posting.php?mode=reply&f=24&t=168537

[Just Silver]

Good rhyming here although it's hard to tell who is stephanie or susan
But after the first three lines I was loving the flow /word choices

Haven't listened to the beat yet imo beats can ruin lyrics sometimes depending on style

Overall good stuff drop the other verses guy

[shadyblogger]

Nice work

[Dewey Decimal]

Very nice, some "real" lines in this piece. As usual, flow and rhymes tied into one another generously.

Quick question, you're Canadian too?

Yeah bro , i grew up in labrador but i live in ottawa now

Verse is kind of choppy cuz i just threw a bunch of lines together. Im gonna tweak it before i put it on my mixtape

[Francesco]

Good one homie...

[LilWayneNorwayLove]

Nice verse, 2 first lines had rly good rhymes/flow whatever..
and then inn the end thes three lines:
So i was abused for 19 years and i was only 18
But theres a raincloud that follows me wherever i go
If this knife is for protection, then why do i use it on myself? (Feelin it, this one was strong)

[Snakebeast]

At first glance, this is a very simplistic piece. But when you read it and actually try to flow to it....holy shit, man. This is awesome. It flows perfectly, the rhyming is natural, and the way you executed the content

There's a fuckload of quotables as well. Please make a second verse. This is some GREAT stuff. Record it too, if you can. I want to hear you actually rap this.

Some of my favourite lines:

"And i been high so long i think my sleeps affected
Its almost suppertime and im eating breakfast"

"My dad beat her up when she was pregnant with.the baby
So i was abused for 19 years and i was only 18"

"Im emo, but thats the only truth that i would tell
If this knife is for protection, then why do i use it on myself?"

IMO this sounds similar to something Kendrick would write, actually. Fantastic stuff. Keep writing.