genetics by the gram

[Just Silver]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=168949

I guess I'm just a product of my mom and dad
Swallowin caps-ules smoking out of plastic bags
Drinkin outta paper bags till my livers bad... born to rot
Sworn id never tell a cop even if its out of hand
Father died by the age of one my pages have just begun
Maybe it's just cause I'm my father's son
Born from drugs probably gonna die that way
It's ironic how he died on mother's day
Heroin mixed with the alcohol sips
One slip of the vein that's all and that's it
And everyone looks at me like I should be rich
Well god damn basedshady bring him back to life
And while your at it you should break my mother's crack pipe
Born with a half life feel twice my age
Though id never ever act that way.. mature
Fuck that I laugh it helps me endure
This pain without the killer in me painkillers in me
Not the member fag just another medicine tab
Makes my mind set in at last so I'm losing my place
Losing my plate starving yet ill smoke an eighth
Hope I ain't late for saving grace or some leniency
This life I've found no decency I just wanna decease
I'm in pain way too late my late fee is the heaven gates
No more air like I stepped in outerspace
Sofa chairs vodka and wine grapes
Let it reiterate my little faith as in what I am today

[shadyblogger]

Good stuff bro. I liked how it was personal and you could tell you put some emotion into it. One of your better ones imo.

[Just Silver]

Thanks guy and ya it was pretty personal

[PAINKILLƎR]

Hmm, well this was nice. Your personal pieces tend to be your better ones. There were some pretty good and strong lines but some were pretty vague, if you ever find yourself like writing a piece and a certain line seems a bit unclear and would seem like something the reader can't really make anything out of it then you shouldn't force it in there, you know?

Anyway your rhyming was okay, overall it's a good drop. Good stuff, keep working.

[Just Silver]

Hmm, well this was nice. Your personal pieces tend to be your better ones. There were some pretty good and strong lines but some were pretty vague, if you ever find yourself like writing a piece and a certain line seems a bit unclear and would seem like something the reader can't really make anything out of it then you shouldn't force it in there, you know?

Anyway your rhyming was okay, overall it's a good drop. Good stuff, keep working.

Thanks guy what's unclear btw lol I can explain

Also I sorta shouted u out lol

[PAINKILLƎR]

Hmm, well this was nice. Your personal pieces tend to be your better ones. There were some pretty good and strong lines but some were pretty vague, if you ever find yourself like writing a piece and a certain line seems a bit unclear and would seem like something the reader can't really make anything out of it then you shouldn't force it in there, you know?

Anyway your rhyming was okay, overall it's a good drop. Good stuff, keep working.

Thanks guy what's unclear btw lol I can explain

Also I sorta shouted u out lol

"I guess I'm just a product of my mom and dad"

"Maybe it's just cause I'm my father's son"

These lines are just stating the obvious, we know you're your fathers son because you wouldn't be calling him your father if he wasn't your dad and I know you're trying to get something else across but to the reader it just seems like something really unclear, you have to expand on that and be more specific.

[Just Silver]

Oh I see lol well ya those type of lines were more mandatory if this was audio

But I know the redundancy can seem weird to some

[Just Silver]

Bump.. should my new project be personal

[shadyblogger]

Bump.. should my new project be personal

Yes. Like Pain said, your personal stuff tends to be better.

[Just Silver]

Alright lol I got a cypher to do for cp first thanks

[Dewey Decimal]

Real dope. Was diggin the dark thoughts , bit of wit here n there added to it.

[Just Silver]

Thanks guy

[shadyblogger]

Bump lol

[Francesco]

Another solid drop Silver...

[Just Silver]

Thanks broski