Just imagine

[Just Silver]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=172715

Imagine yourself being addicted to drugs
Smoking weed before you knew what a cigarette was
Doin certain types of pills just to feed for the buzz
In the morning open the curtains, being sober is fucked
The numb feelin you get with no alcohol sweats
No drugs no life damn youre quite upset
Nothing to light up yet, or drink with a chaser
I think two hours of being sober is being patient
I think two bottles of pills is temptation
If I swallowed a few I'd be in sedation
This life get me away from it ,rather light the spliff
Rather just forget and forgive, then to live
Life is so hard once you get out of highschool
All those fucking years I feel I was lied to
Got my diploma but it don't mean shit
It just matters who you know just to get in
Imagine yourself living well with your mother
Till one day you were just fed up and shoved her
And had to move knowing nothing about the real world
At first it was cool , till moneys involved
It can fuck with us all, it's why I'm making this song
I mean maybe I'm wrong, but life is really treacherous
I never would expect this ,ever breath is frivolous
Rather rap rhymes on electronic instruments
Instead of step foot on the stupid average worker bench
But even so, now I'm full grown I need to work to death
I want dumb purchases, pink dolphin merchants and
Some obey tees I think often I'm just worthlessness

[Just Silver]

Thanks guy I really appreciate it

[shadyblogger]

This is actually one of my favourites I've seen you write, man.

It's really well written, especially for a piece that is evidently a personal one. The rhyming keeps it fresh and helps move things along smoothly, with a great choice of words. Although I don't agree with what you did to your mother, I still think this is a very good piece. There's a level of sincerity to it due to how honest you are. I thought the only forced line was the last one, ending in 'worthlessness'.

Dope stuff, Just Silver

Great review tbh and I 100% agree. This is arguably your best piece so far Just Silver. It was personal, had dope rhyming, and the flow was easily your best yet. Continue this style. It really seems to work for you. The tone was humble and sincere and it made the writing flow beautifully and was almost touching in a way. None of your other writing is like this one in that sense. The tone and flow of this piece is unreal. It's amazing tbh

[Just Silver]

Thanks guy I do like keystyles but this piece was definitely personal

My next piece will probably be random or messing with words

[shadyblogger]

Bump because I think this piece needs more feed. Great piece

[Just Silver]

Thank u guy bump

[EvryOnesACrtc]

I agree with everyone here, this is the best I've seen from you. And it is good. I think the reason why is because it has an interesting topic that you stay on. It progressed well. The end of it kind of got dull, but I really liked the opening lines, and this was my favorite line out of the piece:
Nothing to light up yet, or drink with a chaser
I think two hours of being sober is being patient
I think two bottles of pills is temptation
If I swallowed a few I'd be in sedation

^Awesome.

[Just Silver]

Thanks guy I appreciate it

[Just Silver]

Thanks guy

[shadyblogger]

Write another one like this Just Silver. Like get into the mind state you had when writing this one and then start writing from the heart. Then post it on TR. I'd be excited to read it tbh.

[Just Silver]

I would but other members are sick of my personal pieces